by Paul W. Anderson, PhD
How can you tell if you have found the right Life Coach for you? How can you decide if you need personal or individual counseling or any kind of coaching?
You’ve decided to get some coaching to solve a problem in an area of your life so you can lower your anxiety, manage stress, feel calmer or reach some other important goal. However, the process of picking a coach and getting started can in itself create even more anxiety. Because of that, many people don’t get coached and continue to be stuck in a rut, immobilized. 
What Is Life Coaching About? How Does Coaching Work?
I want to break it down for you so you will know the basics:
- WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF LIFE OR CAREER COACHING?
- WHEN DO YOU NEED A COACH?
- HOW TO VET AND PICK THE RIGHT COACH?
BENEFITS OF COACHING
- You’re Never Alone: Don’t kid yourself. Even the most daring of us sometimes opt for mediocrity rather than scare ourselves with change. In those challenging times, we need a friend, a coach companion.
- You Get a Clear and Tight Focus on The Goal(s) You Want: More than half the failed attempts toward success in any area of human life can be traced to a lack of clear, specific and realistic goals.
- You Will Believe You Deserve Success: If you are worth being coached, an unconscious part of you believes you are special. Whether you are aware of it or not, belief in yourself and personal worth releases the power you need to succeed.
- You Get The Benefits Of “Sideline Magic:” Your coach brings an objective perspective to your situation you cannot get for yourself. Because he is on the “sidelines” of your playing field, he can see options you can’t see when you’re in the “thick of the game.”
WHEN DO YOU NEED A COACH?
Download and answer these questions to see if you’re ready for coaching. Generally speaking, If you have thought about using a coach, that is probably the best time to seriously look into the possibility of finding the right coach for you. When you need that extra motivation and the insight to use it strategically to achieve your goal, I can help. Good coaching is essential for high level success. Ask any professional athlete.
When you want to do more, excel, achieve, find your peak performance – -those are good times to get coached. During transitions such as retirement, moving to a promotion or new job, relationship changes such as divorcing..these are just a few of the times in a person’s life when anxiety and stress are high and coaching helps.
Look again at the benefits of coaching and see if you could use that kind of help or assistance in your life right now in your life situation.
HOW TO PICK AND VET THE RIGHT COACH?
Vetting a coach online is not easy. However, I think there are several things you can do to find the right person to invest your time, money and future with. This could be psychologists, counselors, certified coaches or a social workers so long as they have the training and understanding necessary to guide and help you. Ask the person you are considering as a coach if they have training and expertise in the area you need help with, be it stress management, marriage, grief, transition or life coaching or counseling.
“Get To Work!” with Your Life Coach For The Kansas City metro Area
- Skip the Sizzle. Find the Substance.
A good mentor doesn’t need to sell you on themselves or their style of coaching. Instead, look and listen for the benefits that their style can give you. Does their website go on and on about their accomplishments with liberal sprinkling of name dropping? Or do they get down to business and let you know what and how they can offer you success? You may need to chat with them on the phone or meet in person to get a good read on this.
Obviously, different professionals have different styles. Some are exuberant cheerleaders. Others are more matter-of-fact plodding problem solvers. There are the coaches who believe that if you believe and have a dream, things will magically work out. And the other coaches who made you think that if you complete enough testing you’ll get an idea that may lead to success. All of these styles have their advantages and pitfalls. Whatever their style, they need to believe things in your life can be better. Then, they must be able to show show you how that can happen for you. Good coaching is not based on wishful thinking.
If you know what kind of coach and what style of coaching and mentoring works best for you, it will be a lot easier to find the substantial coach for you. Also, be clear about what you want coaching help with, for example, relationship, career, work place, transitions, retirement, etc.
- Reconsider Your At-Distance Coach. Go Local.
If you are an individual looking for a personal career, life or executive coach, you want somebody who’s comfortable working with people one by one, face to face. A large percentage of personal coaching is done at distance online, by phone, video conferencing or emails. This can work to some extent but has short term value. Your coach will never know you as well as they could have, had you had face-to-face sessions with them in their office, at least at the beginning of your coaching. The quality of the coaching process can suffer accordingly.
Start local or regionally because with somebody from your community you get a couple of advantages:
A. They’re going to be more familiar with regional job realities and opportunities. They can point you in the direction of resources that you can access easily and if need be use with face-to-face, real-time convenience.
- Local coaches are easier for you to check out through local references. Ask around among your connections and networks and see if they’ve heard of “Coach So-and-So.” Are they listed in local directories or have reviews and recommendations from real, local people that you may even know?
- A further advantage of using a local coach in your area is that the richest of human experiences is not telephonic or electronic but personal and face-to-face. This is not to say that every time you do a coaching session you need to go to your mentor’s office. However, even one face-to-face live session with your coach can give you a solid read on whether this is the coach for you. I usually encourage meeting together with people at least for the first time to establish a more solid beginning for what ever we may do in the future, including phone and email contacts.
- Additional Keys To Bulletproof Coaching Success:
Do you trust your coach to ask them any question, tell him or her anything, even about topics you wouldn’t tell another soul? Do you feel emotionally safe with this coach or mentor? Is your process with them judgment free?
Remember who hired whom. You’re the one in charge. You’re the one using your coach to help you achieve your success goals. You may not know what your coach knows, but you have the final veto on whether what your coach is providing works for you.
What Is A BulletProof Life Coach?
- A BulletProof Coach never argues with you. If you say, “No,” they accept and honor your request. If an assignment or piece of homework your coach gives you doesn’t feel comfortable, don’t be bullied into going against your inner wisdom.
- With the right BulletProof Coach you should not have to guess what they are saying to you. The best coach not only has good timing, meaning the right suggestion for you when you’re ready for it, but they are to the point, never mean, concise, practical and clear in what suggestions they provide you.
- A BulletProof Coach provides you with periodic review and reevaluation points to consider your progress. Good coaching will not take control away from you, but steps out your strategies incrementally and is always willing to pause or stop or proceed according to your wishes.
- Finally, a BulletProof Coach is someone you look forward to meeting with and talking with and working with, not someone you dread or want to avoid. Coaching should be fun and have some energy to it. That doesn’t mean that there are not aspects of career coaching that are challenging. But it should be the task or assignment that may become difficult, not your BulletProof Coach.
Get to work on your life goals with BulletProof coach Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D.
Call 913-991-2302 or send me an email: netpsy@netpsychologist.net
The right Life Coach will help reduce your anxiety about life in general and provide a road map to reach your goals in particular.